The Christians Are Coming All Over The Place


This week we found out that Bronnie Bishop is off to take the sacraments from the lily-white hands of the Australian Christian Lobby’s Lyle Shelton (see above), in company with the ever fragrant Wendy Francis (the thinking Christian’s Jackie Lambie).

This came hard of the heels of a positively Gadarene rush of national and local Coalition pollies such as Kevin  ‘I’m Too Catholic For My Pope’ Andrews, Corey ‘Bestiality’ Bernardi, Bernie ‘Pink Jackboots’ Finn, Fred ‘Cradlesnatcher’ Nile, and Robert ‘Spina Bifida’ Clark, to worship at the altar of the World Congress of Families.


Victorian Attorney General Robert Clark, who’s supposed to be expunging the spent convictions of gay men convicted in the days when we were illegal. How’s that coming along, Robbie?

The WCF are huge fans of Vladimir Putin for his anti-gay laws, and strongly support the actions taken by such beacons of rainbow loveliness as the governments of Uganda, Nigera and Ethiopia, currently engaged in a mad dash to be the first African nation to start hanging gays.

Scott Lively, the US pastor who proudly boasts of his massive efforts to get all the above laws passed, is a regular speaker at WCF gatherings. He’s the one who claims gays are all a bunch of Nazis – in fact, we WERE the Nazis, according too him. Given his penchant for stuffing me and others like me into ‘pink jackboots’, Bernie Finn should feel right at home.

Last and arguably least, we now hear that the alleged ‘leader’ of the Australian Still-Just-About-Labor Party, one Bill Shorten, will be the the keynote speaker at the Australian Christian Lobby National Conference.

Bill Shorten - federal member for Maribyrnong - Official Portrait

Latest Christian Lobby supplicant, who’s supposed to be leading the Labor Party, Bill Shorten

Following in a proud tradition stretching from John Howard through Julia Gillard (now there’s a disturbing thought); tacking himself on, to borrow that marvellous Mark Latham phrase, the ‘conga line of suckholes’ who have trotted off to kneel before Jim Wallace, Lyle Shelton and their band of merry but shadowy millionaire backers, he’s off to mouth ‘traditional family values’.

This is ALP-speak for ‘ignore the diversity shit we pump out to keep the gays quiet. YOU’RE the ones we really adore.’ The obverse of this is, of course, all that ‘the Labor Party is a broad church’ BS that we get fed.

To her credit, Julia Gillard snatched at the first available excuse and pulled out in time, one of the very few recorded instances when the rhythm method actually worked. The push is now on to persuade Bill to blink and follow her example, pointing out that the ACL have been soundly repudiated by most Australian Christians and speak only for a tiny extremist minority.

I was about to write a scorching missive for him to ignore when I came across this, which I couldn’t possibly better. Feel free to copy and resend to Bill with your endorsement.

An Open Letter to Bill Shorten from Adamm Ferrier


Dear Mr Shorten, I met you once, back in 2008 when you visited the Western Hospital in Sunshine Victoria. I was impressed at the time at your integrity and earnestness. I have continued to be impressed by your integrity despite the circus of musical-chair Prime Ministers – both of whom, I might add, appeared to have every virtue as far as the public were concerned excepting team playing. One can understand the political desire to gain a majority in the lower house, but frankly, I simply don’t know what the Australian Labor Party stands for any more. The ALP might just as well change its name to “Not the Liberal Party”, rather like “Not the Nine O’Clock News” but without the irony, charm or intentional humour.

I am a regular church-going Anglican. So I feel somewhat qualified to consider the Australian Christian Lobby as nothing short of a sanitised Ku Klux Klan, and find it difficult to understand why any political party in its right mind would lend credence to this most unChristian of organisations.

If you feel the overwhelming need to court this group of right wing lunatics then by all means do so: but remember, a leopard cannot change its spots. They will never endorse the Australian Labor Party: never in a million years. Not even with your undoubted charm and charisma and boyish smile. Never, mate. Never.

One day, I hope, someone with some sense in the party will connect the dots: Australians don’t give a tinker’s cuss if people are religious, but the vast majority resent moralistic views being shoved down our throats by a self-appointed and self-righteous federal lobby group.

Only a fool would think that courting the ACL could result in an electoral dividend for the Australian Labor Party.

Exasperatedly yours

Adamm Ferrier

The views expressed herein are Addam’s personal opinions and do not reflect those of LaTrobe University. Adamm Ferrier, RN, holds a Masters degree in Health Science Administration and is a lecturer and doctoral candidate at the School of Public Health & Biosciences at La Trobe University. 

About the author

Veteran gay writer and speaker, Doug was one of the founders of the UKs pioneering GLBTI newspaper Gay News (1972) , and of the second, Gay Week, and is a former Features Editor of Him International. He presented news and current affairs on JOY 94.9 FM Melbourne for more than ten years. "Doug is revered, feared and reviled in equal quantities, at times dividing people with his journalistic wrath. Yet there is no doubt this grandpa-esque bear keeps everyone abreast of anything and everything LGBT across the globe." (Daniel Witthaus, "Beyond Priscilla", Clouds of Magellan, Melbourne, 2014)