Let’s get this straight

imageI am sick and tired of hearing heterosexual, usually religious people, say that they oppose same sex marriage, but that doesn’t mean they are homophobic or bigoted.

Yes you are.

You can squirm and wriggle and twist uncomfortably on that hook all you like, but there’s no getting round it. If you refuse to treat LGBTI people exactly as you are treated, if you treat their relationships as inferior to your own, you are a homophobe and a bigot.

End of story.

Treating people differently because of random characteristics, like handedness, hair colour, nationality, ethnicity, gender, sex or sexuality is inherently bigoted.

And don’t give me that bullshit about how same sex relationships can’t be the same as / good as opposite sex relationships because they don’t automatically make babies.

Love is the same, whatever your sexuality. Your commitment to each other is the same. The meaning you invest in your relationship is identical.

Babymaking, however, is incidental.

But if you really want to go there, you can shut your mouth about poor parenting, lack of role models, “complementarity” and the rest of it.

More heterosexual parents are lousy parents, because, all too often, they are thoughtless, unplanned, accidental, resentful parents. Something gay parents simply cannot be.

Sure, we don’t always do a stellar job – we’re only human, after all – and some gay couples are shockers. But then, so are some heterosexuals. Take Fred and Rosemary West.

Some people are just evil. Their sexuality is incidental and irrelevant.

Assuming that someone’s sexuality automatically makes them unfit to parent, is bigotry, pure and simple.

Meanwhile, about those kids. You worry that if same-sex marriage is legalised, we’ll teach kids that homosexuality is normal and natural. We’ll include homosexuality in sex-ed.

You’re right. Because it is normal and natural.

Trying to keep LGBTI kids and their needs and desires out of schools and education, is homophobia and bigotry. End of story.

The changes you fear and dislike are going to happen whether marriage equality happens or not. You may not like it, but in a diverse, healthy society, you can have your beliefs and opinions, but you don’t get your own separate set of facts.

It is incontestable fact that a small percentage of all humans on the planet is non-heterosexual. The best stats to date say around 6%. You may not like it, you may not want to believe it. But it’s a fact.

You may believe that non-heterosexuality is unnatural, yet it occurs throughout all nature. That’s a fact.

You may believe sexuality is a choice. So when did you choose yours? Extensive studies have found sexuality is innate and immutable. That’s a fact.

Believe what you like, but you’re wrong. And clinging to disproven beliefs in the face of proven facts is madness. To do it so you can justify the discriminatory treatment of others, is incontestable homophobia and bigotry.

We try very hard to treat you as our equals, even when you do your best to make it difficult. All we’re asking for is the same courtesy in return. If you can’t or won’t do that, you’re a bigot and a homophobe, and you’re always going to be hateful, angry and unhappy.

I’m just stating a fact. I’m not trying to insult you. I’m trying to help you.

Let’s do this together.

Just bear in mind: G. A. Y. = Good As You, and we’ll get along fine.

About the author

Veteran gay writer and speaker, Doug was one of the founders of the UKs pioneering GLBTI newspaper Gay News (1972) , and of the second, Gay Week, and is a former Features Editor of Him International. He presented news and current affairs on JOY 94.9 FM Melbourne for more than ten years. "Doug is revered, feared and reviled in equal quantities, at times dividing people with his journalistic wrath. Yet there is no doubt this grandpa-esque bear keeps everyone abreast of anything and everything LGBT across the globe." (Daniel Witthaus, "Beyond Priscilla", Clouds of Magellan, Melbourne, 2014)