I was sexually assaulted in a night club recently. I had no idea it was about to happen, as he approached me from behind. I’ve become good at creep spotting, but the lights were dim, with only red light spectrum. Making creep detection quite a lot more difficult.
How does it feel when without any warning, someone else’s body has made its way to all those bits between your legs?
Why? What is the motive? Is it a warning? Is it a request for a blow job or intercourse? Was he suspect about my gender and needed to cop a feel to settle his mind or explode with fury depending on the answer? Is it a reminder that the patriarchy only works because men are physically stronger than women? What drives the entitlement, surely this has only been allowed to grow in this individual as they have added the years to their lifespan? Why have other women let this man get away with this before? I am not the first person to experience his technique.
Why can’t I stop thinking about this? Why is this not always present in the minds of everyone else? How come nobody knows what happened to me, and how it’s affecting my thoughts, behaviors, activities, and plans? And how have I not *felt* how this really feels, asked all of these questions before, until it “happened to me”?
The fear of what happened next. My inability to react in the most effective manner I could. A brief flight, followed by fear response. Not able to respond the way I would like to have. Knowing the next time, I am going to explode to such an extent, that the music will be halted.
Next time, I’ve got some safe words to scream out, that will get everyone’s attention. Immediately. Cause a huge stir I will. Will nightclubs ever allow me back in? Trouble follows me around, because these men are jealous that I am free and content when I’m dancing. It really does, regularly.
And the lights turned on. And the perpetrator will be made an example of on the spot. Security will calmly arrest the alleged perpetrator. Then we all go have a look at the CCTV footage together. Right then and there. I don’t give a fuck how drunk or drugged up the perpetrator, or if he is someone’s “good mate”, we need to confirm immediately what this fucker has done. And I’m not sorry I affected a couple of hundred other innocent people in the club, it will only be a brief minute or two in proceedings cessation for them.
I’ll then return to the dance floor, back to my trancelike exercise routines. While security ensures evidence is handled correctly, and in accordance with the law.
There, fixed it.
Except, fear. Accumulates over time. And requires mitigation. Because, survival. Not sure I am brave enough to go back to where I’ve been by myself again.
And so someone else’s false self of entitlement, takes away some of my innocent freedom. Sounds just like the world we all live in.
Now if I could only figure out how to get men to become vigilantly aware of this ongoing and constant behavior that women are being subjected to, to call out other men when these things are occurring to women. And by “call out”, amongst other things, I mean intervene, teach, embarrass, shame, unfriend, disassociate, call the police. Whatever it takes. Contact me at https://corebias.com/