Great Alternative To A Debate

Who to vote for? How many must I kiss to find the prince? pic by Kai Schreiber

The much hyped “Great (Alternative) Debate” of small-party micro-celebs should have been retitled “The Great Alternative To A Debate”, according to sources. Mounted with the best of intentions, it was almost swept away by the floods in Tasmania, and had to compete with the memorials for the dead of Orlando.

The big gay candidate forum looked almost interesting enough to attend, on paper at least, but after the vigil at Fed Square and the Cathedral service, feeling somewhat wrung out, all I wanted was dinner, home and bed.

This turns out to have been a sound decision.

Lovely though the Jason twins (Tuazon-McCheyne & Ball) are, I pretty much know what they’re going to say. Ditto Meredith Doig from the Sex Party. Too many events in the gay community are made up of the usual suspects furiously agreeing with each other and jealously sniffing one another’s public funding. I decided I could miss another one. Even one with Jacqui Lambie in the mix.

Which was just as well, as she didn’t show.

by Eva Rinaldi

Nor did Derryn Hinch. Why he decided to go with Sky News rather than a debate recorded for gay community radio we’ll never know. It can’t have been the size of the audience, since it’s roughly the same for both.

Size may have been a consideration for Lambie. Maybe she calculated that, while there would almost certainly be well-off guys with big dicks, they were unlikely to be interested in the map of her home state. With or without floodwaters.

Incorrigible homophobe Peter Madden, mindful of the fact that one or two people might be just a tad pissed at his suggestion that it didn’t matter how many poufs they shot, he still wouldn’t support gay marriage, also stayed home.

Gympie Music Muster

The Democratic Labour Party’s Clara Geoghegan was another no-show (we don’t know why, she didn’t apologise); the Liberal Democrats’ Duncan Spender managed to struggle in.

I’m told this led to an evening of furious agreement, punctuated by the occasional contrary outburst from Vickie Janson of the Australian Christians.

Meanwhile I was bouncing along the Hurstbridge Line to bed. It seems I may have had the better deal.

About the author

Veteran gay writer and speaker, Doug was one of the founders of the UKs pioneering GLBTI newspaper Gay News (1972) , and of the second, Gay Week, and is a former Features Editor of Him International. He presented news and current affairs on JOY 94.9 FM Melbourne for more than ten years. "Doug is revered, feared and reviled in equal quantities, at times dividing people with his journalistic wrath. Yet there is no doubt this grandpa-esque bear keeps everyone abreast of anything and everything LGBT across the globe." (Daniel Witthaus, "Beyond Priscilla", Clouds of Magellan, Melbourne, 2014)